Restraints
- Velcro padded wrist/ankle straps
- Shibari-style rope
- These basic cheap cotton ropes work fine. They are soft but they stretch out. A high quality hemp rope is ideal.
Blindfold
- Used to heighten sensory anticipation
- These buff / neck gaiters work better than typical BDSM blindfolds (they stay in place much better as she’s moving around)
- Often paired with restraint to enhance control and surprise.
- You can put it on her very early in sex, when you’re still making out or even as you just get into bed. It takes a lot of the pressure off of you to perform.
Paddles
- Basic leather paddle — I just got mine from a sex shop
- Silicone paddle — for much more painful smacks
- Acrylic paddle – Maximum intensity. You can break skin if you hit hard enough.
- Warning: acrylic is brittle and can snap if you bend it too much
Coconut oil
- Coconut oil on a candle warmer for warm, multi-purpose use — massage, tits, penetration lube (don’t use with latex condoms)
Candles
Wax play with sex-safe candles
- Have a ceramic/glass dish on hand, so you can stop the candle from dripping on her, without blowing it out
- You can change how intense the heat/pain is by controlling the height of the candle (the longer distance the wax drips before hitting her skin, the more it cools before touching her)